How To Believe Nothing Has Gone Wrong

Hello my friends. Here we are at episode 62 and the beginning of my VERY favorite month. I love September. I think part of it is because this is my birth month and I really enjoy celebrating my birthday. And the other part of it is that my birthday typically falls on the autumnal equinox. That shifting to fall feels magical to me, especially in the south when it has been scorchingly hot for the last several months. I can start to feel it all ready in little bits and pieces- the wind on a hot day or a slightly cooler early morning. It’s quite lovely and it helps with my mood and my feeling state. 

As I’ve mentioned before, the fall feels like a new year of sorts for me, and maybe it’s because I’ve been teaching in academia for so long and I have children that go to school, the fall is always a beginning time. 

So as we’ve been approaching this new beginning, I’ve been thinking about change. Last episode I was talking about resistance and acceptance and how that could help support change. Today, I’d like to continue with that theme. Last time when I was talking about acceptance I was saying that when we accept things, it can help them change more quickly. There is a second component to acceptance and resistance that can be a little more subtle and deeply transformative. The underlying belief with that is that “Nothing has gone wrong” and “There are no mistakes”

This might feel a little challenging to understand for some of you when you are thinking about your health. Perhaps you are dealing with an auto-immune disorder or chronic pain and you are most definitely not enjoying that condition and all that goes with it. So you may be thinking – What? How is this that nothing has gone wrong?! 

This goes back to acceptance. If nothing has gone wrong, then there isn’t resistance to it. It just is. This stems from the buddhist traditions of acceptance as well as watching and non judgment.  Please note, the idea that nothing has gone wrong doesn’t mean the opposite- it doesn’t mean that it is ‘right” either. I’ve been practicing the thought “Nothing has gone wrong” for anything that the critical voice in the head wants to have a conversation about. This is to counter the belief that it should be different or there is something wrong. When I tell myself that nothing has gone wrong, then my body relaxes, my mind can look more objectively at the problem and become disidentified from that critical voice. So often we are identified with that critical voice, meaning we think it has something important to tell us and that we should believe it. But the opposite is true. Nothing has gone wrong. 

This is very similar to “There are no mistakes,” although to me they are so subtly different. The phrase “There are no mistakes”, feels more like “everything happens for a reason” which feels a little off for me. I think my belief system is that everything happens, and then we get to decide what we make it mean. I do see how very often things are happening FOR ME. The very horrible health issues I had as a 20 year old, led me exactly where I am today and I love where I am today. I wouldn’t change those experiences for the world. There was no mistake in that experience and even taking it one step further I’m extremely grateful for all the migraines, doctors visits, and even the car accident I had. To me it felt a lot like I was being shaken into what I was meant to become because I wasn’t going to do it otherwise. 

“There are no mistakes” and “nothing has gone wrong” might be two different things that you can try on and practice believing. For me right now, Nothing has gone wrong feels very potent and is the one I’ve been practicing more given my current health issues as well as the current state in the world. There are a lot of things I don’t agree with happening at the university where I teach and politically in the state where I live. It’s no secret that I’m a libral and while the town I live in definitely is more liberal, the state is quite conservative. So I get a lot of practice saying “Nothing has gone wrong” to myself when I listen to the news or even when I’m dealing with a messy house. It calms my nervous system by reassuring me that this is all ok. I can accept it all. 

The true can be true for your health too. No matter what is happening with your health, the reality is that nothing has gone wrong. “Wrong” is a judgment. Yes, your body or mind or emotions might be struggling right now. It doesn’t mean it is wrong. Yes, you might want it to be different, and it doesn’t mean that it is wrong. Nothing has gone wrong with your body. It’s simply trying to communicate to you that it needs some help and support that it isn’t receiving. It’s like when a child is crying- there is nothing wrong; the child is simply trying to communicate a message to you. Your body is doing the same. All signs and symptoms: emotional, mental, physical, energetic, and spiritual are opportunities for communication from our holistic selves. It’s a chance for us to listen deeply to what is trying to be communicated to us in that moment. 

When you tell yourself that “Nothing has gone wrong,” it is a great way to support that part of you that is struggling with reality. It is the opening to acceptance. If nothing has gone wrong, then you are able to accept what is the current reality. Here it is. And now what are you going to do? When you practice that belief, it’s like taking the express bus to make change. If it doesn’t feel true yet, you might want to try something a little closer. Perhaps the belief is “I’m learning to believe it might be possible that nothing has gone wrong.” Whatever you practice believing, you want it to feel lighter in your body. For me, when I find the belief that is helpful, I feel a relief. 

Ok sweet ones. Here’s hoping you are able to listen to all the messages your body is giving you and seeing that there is actually nothing wrong. Thank you so much for listening. I’m seeing all of you in your own divine light. Take good care of yourself.