Hello dear ones- how are you? Here in Georgia, things warm up fast and it’s already spring. For me spring always feels like a reawakening or remembering of who I am. I’ve been spending some time this week avoiding it- which is really interesting because of course the more I resist something, the more it persists. Many core beliefs have been coming up and there are many feelings that are associated with them. I’ve been trying so hard to change certain beliefs, that I forgot a foundational piece of changing any thought is to actually feel the emotion. And as you know, anytime you forget something foundational, you can’t really build anything of substance.
I’ve talked about feeling the emotions before, in the episode on Seed Moment Healings- so revisiting that episode might be helpful as well. Today I’m going to talk a little more specifically about being with feelings as they show up.
Let’s start with a little background first. The emotional wellness body is an interesting one, and many of us have been conditioned to suppress or deny our emotions. I’ve been reading a book on Imposter Syndrome called “Own Your Greatness: Overcome Imposter Syndrome” and it mentioned that many people who have imposter syndrome are labeled as the “emotional” or social ones in their family. This was definitely the case with me, and I spent the first half of my life trying to be more ‘academic’ instead. And maybe you’ve noticed that anytime you (or me in this case) try to do anything that is not authentic, it’s an uphill battle.
At this point in my life, I feel emotions on the regular.. I notice, I feel it in my body, I’m with my emotions. AND there is a particularly painful one that has been coming up around my belief that I’m not good enough or capable. What I’ve been noticing is that I sort of feel it, and I sort of don’t. My pattern is to stay REALLY busy and to do all the things, which conveniently helps me to avoid anything that I really don’t want to see. Except, the last 4 months. I purposefully took pretty much everything off my plate except my family and myself. That’s it. And as a result, I watched how I still managed to try and fill my time with things to do. It was amazing to watch the process of this busy-ness and how I was helping to create for myself!
This week, after being confronted again and again with it, I am practicing being with those emotions that i’ve been avoiding by being busy doing all the things. Sigh.
When I settle in and talk to the guides, there is a big box of emotions that is waiting for me and along with it is a young part of me that is sad, and a young part of me that wants to avoid this much. The one who keeps busy is scared to look, and scared of what people will think if she is not “productive.”
Today, I sat down with those two young parts and the big box. In the box was a feeling of not being capable- it was a beautiful golden orb. As I pulled it out of the box, I felt it in my body. The sadness and shame that washed over me. And in that moment, I brought in all the loving compassion of my wise self. She was there, holding it all. The belief of not capable and the younger parts who were sad and ashamed. She could hold it all in unconditionally love and acceptance in order to witness it. Yes this was there, and I could be with it and be ok. The emotion itself wasn’t going to kill me (although it has felt like that in the past).
In that sitting and being with it, it was clear to me that the golden orb belief was actually a soul essence that was ready to be returned. My guides returned it to my heart and allowed it to settle. The essence of capability. There it was- the belief was ready to be seen in a new way.
And that my friends is the magic of pulling it all together. Spiritual guidance, the thoughts, the emotions, the body, and energy. It’s all there in the process of showing up for myself and feeling my emotions.
My encouragement for you is to try it for yourself. Find a time when you can sit in undisturbed stillness. Ask your guides to come in and support you. You can start with an emotion, a belief, or even just a feeling in the body. Ask who is present with you? How old is that part of you and what is she feeling? Notice what happens when you hold it ALL in loving compassion and unconditional love for yourself. If you are familiar with how to do that, it does take some practice. Sometimes it helps to have someone to do this for us at first- this is exactly what I do with my clients- hold them in unconditional love until they can do it for themselves. And let me tell you, it is one of the most beautiful things to watch as someone can begin to hold that for themselves.
Ok my sweet friends. I’m so grateful you are here listening. I hope you try it this week- and let me know how it goes. Feel your feelings and notice your body! If you need some support, I have a free min-session so I can help you get unstuck. I’ll hold that loving compassionate space for you. I’ll put the link in the show notes. Take good care of yourself.