Here we are already at episode 15. I can’t believe it. So grateful that I get to keep chatting with you about how to feel better and get unstuck. It seems like such a simple problem on the surface, but the reality is that it’s actually quite complex, and this is why it is so important to me.
Women especially get stuck, struggle with getting unstuck, and then think “what is wrong with me?” The answer is nothing. You just haven’t been given this perspective yet. It’s a matter of education and particular flavor of action. Not everyone is ready for the education portion and not everyone is ready for the action component. That’s what I want to speak about today.
Are you really ready to apply the Centered Wellness Framework to your life?
As part of this, there is work involved where you can just receive. Reiki is a great example of this: you can just receive reiki and it can do wonderful things, and it’s been scientifically proven to be effective. When you decide you want to apply the path of Centered Wellness to your own life, there is an element of receiving AND you will also apply action steps.
Some of that work is being kind to yourself, loving yourself, playing, resting, etc. “Work” is really a horrible term for what we do. It’s exploration, it’s opening, it’s play, it’s engaging in different ways, it’s taking action, it’s doing the things that are difficult and challenging, and doing them from a place of love. Are you ready to apply this to your life?
I was speaking to a client recently and she has reached the point where she wants to be healthy. She wants to feel better: she is no longer worried about a number on the scale or a dress size. She wants to have the energy to LIVE and have the life she wants, so she is ready to show up and to take action. She knows that it isn’t ALL about action. There’s strategy to the action. Just doing will end up scattered and not effective. Aligned action to reach your goal of wellness is what you want to focus on. She is ready to show up and look at patterns that might be stopping her, be with emotions that need processing, watch her mind, clear the energy, and change what and how she is eating.
What I see is: that if you really want to transform, if you really want to shift, there’s almost a reckoning – a sense that there has to be a better way
There are action steps. There is work to do. Let’s not call it work because that sounds hard. There is action, there are steps. It’s the rolling up the sleeves from love and compassion.
One of my favorite phases that I’ve mentioned before is “I love you exactly as you are and I’ll help you be whoever you want to be.” This sums it up. Hating yourself doesn’t lead to big change. Loving yourself, accepting yourself, AND being willing to try things and seeing what is true in your own body is the effective way to change. Listening to the wisdom of the body, mind, emotions, and spirit all plays a role in having more energy and feeling better.
Now let me be clear: if you are NOT ready, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Maybe there is a huge transition right now, or you are in the throes of grief.
Four squares to the change process
The first phase is when big change has happened. The image that goes along with this phase is a caterpillar wrapped in its chrysalis. When big changes are going on, it is not time for big changes. It’s time to wrap up in a blanket, turn on sad songs, cry, grieve, and turn into bug soup. This is the time to just live one day, or even 1 minute at a time. Nurture yourself in the best way you can. You may want to try thinking: “I don’t know what the hell is going on…and that’s okay.”
Phase two is when you can begin dreaming about how things might maybe be different someday. This is the dreaming stage, when you start imagining a different life for yourself. You may think, “There are no rules… and that’s okay.”
Phase three is the hero’s journey, otherwise known as reforming. This is when you try things, and they fall flat or fail, or succeed, and then you try again, and again, and again.
At this point, usually clients bounce back and forth between phase 2 and 3: dreaming, trying, failing, redreaming, failing, redreaming, succeeding, redreaming…you get the idea.“This is much worse than I expected… and that’s okay.”
Phase 4 is the stage when you emerge from the chrysalis with your new wings and start to fly. Most people want to stay in phase 4 and hang out there forever, but life doesn’t work that way. I started realizing that food was crucial in my health when I was in graduate school and I changed a ton of things about the way I’ve been eating. But that all changed again when I was pregnant, and after having little kids, and again as I’m in my 40’s. My exercise changes, my spiritual practices changes. Everything changes.
So, as you can imagine, if you are in phase 1, full-on action isn’t the course of action. You might need support for working with me (maybe you need shamanic healing) but you might not be ready to take action yet. That is totally fine.
Now that you know the different phases, you can look to see what phase you are in and you can ask yourself. “Am I ready? Is this the right time for me to step into centered wellness?”