Whew! Is anyone else feeling the energy right now? As I’m recording this, I’m feeling like there is some change in the foundation under me. It’s energy for me and my life, and it’s also what I feel like is a deep ground swelling of what is about to come. It can create something that Pema Chodron calls “Positive Groundlessness.” There is a difference there as we shift and change into something different, and it can feel a little unnerving because it is different than what we are used to. We might mistake the discomfort for something be “off” or “wrong,” but really it’s the feeling of new stories being formed, new perspectives, and new neuronal connections being created. When I’m in times like these, there is a practice that I like to use and is a foundational practice I teach to all of my clients. In essence, I help you in showing up for yourself as a compassionate mentor.
Showing up for yourself: past and present
I’ve talked about it before as changing the conversation in your head, but it goes much deeper than that. It’s learning to be there for yourself not only in the present times, but in the past as well. This may seem confusing because many people see time as linear. In my experience, time is not linear. We can step off of the timeline we are currently on, and hop over to the timeline where a younger (or older) version of ourselves is hanging out and provide support for that younger part of ourselves. It’s deeply healing because it works on an energetic and soul level, as well as a mental and emotional level. The body gets this healing in a deep way.
This term is something I learned from Cheri Huber, and I practice it in a slightly different way than she practices it, but the idea behind it is similar. The idea is that you are showing up for yourself in whatever way is needed. You don’t have to rely on someone else or something else to be a certain way. You rely on that wise, compassionate part of you to provide what you need. The compassionate mentor is the part of you that is there when you are angry, sad, happy, lonely. This is the relationship with the self that underlies everything that you do.
Developing this compassionate relationship with yourself changes everything. Feel like you messed up? The compassionate mentor comes in to hold your hand, give you a hug, and tells you she loves you no matter what. Excited that you finally did that scary thing you’ve been wanting to do? The compassionate mentor is there to high-five you and tell you how amazing you are for facing your fear.
So how do you compassionately show up for yourself and mentor?
The process begins with listening deeply. You are present in awareness and HERE now. When you are aware and present, you have more space and time to listen. You can then listen to your body (sensations, illnesses, pains, gut feelings) and ask what those sensations might mean. You can look for the bodily sensations and look at what messages that might be conveying. In that listening you might notice an emotion that comes along with that sensation. A tightness in your shoulders could be anger, fear, or a message simply that you need to adjust your work station. There are so many messages that the body can convey to you. The precursor to the emotions are often the thoughts. In my experiences, thoughts lead to emotions and emotions lead to actions in our lives. By listening deeply we hear those messages.
When you are aware of what is really going on in your life, you see the thought, the emotion, and feel the pain in the body, you can develop the mentoring relationship with yourself by going back to the moment in time when this all developed. This compassionate mentor can be there when that issue first showed up in your life. You can be there on that timeline energetically and emotionally for that younger part of you that needed something and didn’t receive it. The compassionate mentor has the potential to shift the pattern that began all those years ago, and interrupt old patterns.
With the compassionate mentor, we have an opportunity to show up for ourselves in ways that we always wanted others to show up for us (but often weren’t able to). Not because they were bad or wrong, they just couldn’t. So the compassionate mentor takes care of the needs of our younger parts so they can be healed. So they can show up as they were meant to, instead of the roles they developed in order to survive. We give them an opportunity to complete the cycle as a child (or 40-year-old) so we can move forward in our lives.
In this process, the compassionate spirit guides also show up. It’s not just a cognitive experience, it’s an emotional and energetic experience so that old energy can be cleared and healed. If you haven’t worked with me and experienced this yet, I highly recommend it. Often clients come to me thinking its about the food they don’t want to eat or the alcohol they don’t want to drink, but it’s healing that younger part of ourselves emotionally and energetically and developing a relationship with the compassionate mentor and the compassionate spirit guides.
This is the work I do and I’ll be honest, I developed it from many different trainings, life experiences, and practices because it was was what I needed, and no one else was offering it. This is the whole backbone of the Centered Wellness Framework, and quite frankly it’s magical. If you are ready to try, I’ll put the link to my Vibrant Health or Shamanic Healing session in the notes so you can make an appointment and try it for yourself.